Cloudy with a Chance of Romance

I have been married now for three and a half years. We already have two kiddos. My husband works hard and long hours, anxious to be the best he can be in his career. I work hard and long hours at home, caring for this household. We love each other.

I get stuck in the same rut and trap of thinking that I’m sure many others do. My mind looks back with clouded nostalgia at the first months of our dating relationship. It was filled with excitement and fun. There were intense passions. We never let go of each other’s hands – from the moment I sat in his car, to the time he returned me safely home.

The beginning of a relationship is special. It is the beginning that is portrayed time and time again on TV shows, in movies and books. It is entertaining to watch because it is filled with so many intense feelings.

But, the beginning can only be a beginning. A relationship will either crash and burn, or a “beginning relationship” will grow and become mature – standing the test of months, seasons, marriage, households, children, jobs and just… Every. Day. Life.

We still hold hands – but not every second. We still look forward to seeing each other each day – but not to the point of “drop what you’re doing and drive to go get him right this second.” We still go on spontaneous dates – but they hardly ever end in blissful romance, usually just in flossing our teeth, burping and going to sleep.

So, the trap of thinking that I get caught in is one of believing that there is no more romance in a “mature” relationship. I get caught wishing for the past. I keep comparing every part of this day-to-day relationship to the high points of our early dating relationship. That is just not fair.

We do have romance. Isn’t a faithful, lasting relationship the essence of romance?

What is more romantic than a man giving himself to work for you, to take care of you and your children?

What is more romantic than a man who trusts you with all his thoughts – from the silly and simple to the complex struggles?

What is more romantic than a man who wants to have children with you?

 What is more romantic than seeing your man dote on the children you love, and what could make you more proud than the way he carefully trains them, even when he is tired after a long day of work?

What is more romantic than sleeping in the same bed as your man, day in and day out?

What is more romantic than a man who pulls you away from your to-do list in order to explore a new idea he’s had, to share a tasty meal, or just to cuddle together on the couch?

What could you add to a list like this?

Romance looks different at different times. And it looks different with different men. Let’s train ourselves to be thankful instead of comparing – whether that comparison is between different men or different times.